everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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