I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
