sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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