But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
