You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have already put on my inside pants.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
