it hurts more in the daytime
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
