My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
one two three fourrrrnication!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
