so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
pop tarts are not kleenex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
