Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
babies were throwing up all over the place
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The adults are the big ones right?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
