We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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