So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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