? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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