dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
