there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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