whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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