Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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