I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
