i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
