Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
