is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
