This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
