And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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