I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
why didn't you poke me back
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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