i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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