Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
