Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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