i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In the future we'll all be gay
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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