In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
