i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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