The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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