His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
