Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
