3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
