Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
