Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
