I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
