Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
