This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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