I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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