i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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