What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
