Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just high enough for therapy.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
