id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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