I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
