I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
