Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
