she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
