Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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