I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
