I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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